On behalf of The Law Office of Gustavo E. Frances, P.A.
The conversation about divorce is never easy no matter who you are talking with at the time. It becomes an even more difficult conversation when you have to talk to your children about divorce. No matter how much you prepare for this conversation you never know how it will turn out since children ask a lot of questions and truly do speak their minds. Our Fort Lauderdale divorce attorney would like to share with you tips for gracefully telling your children about your divorce.
Plan Your Statement
Telling your children about divorce is almost like making a public statement at a press conference. You need to plan ahead what it is you will say and practice it. Make sure you don’t place blame in the statement and don’t leave anything to be desired, such as the idea that maybe you and the other parent will make things work and divorce won’t happen. Don’t toy with the emotions of your children. They will be heartbroken enough as it is. The statement you make to begin the conversation needs to be kind, gentle, and honest all wrapped into one.
Be United in Your Message
The conversation about divorce cannot be led by you only or your spouse only. Both of you must be present for this discussion or else it will look like the one missing is the bad person in all of this. When the two of you sit down to talk with your children you must present a united front, even if it is killing you inside, the two of you must be united in your message to the kids. That message should be that they will still receive the same love they received when everyone lived together.
Talk to the Entire Family
This discussion should be done in front of the entire family. What do we mean by entire family? We mean all of your children at one time, not your parents, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews. Both spouses and all of the children should be present to learn of the divorce. Make sure when the conversation happens that there is plenty of time to answer questions and one child isn’t running out the door to a sport or other activity. After you talk with the entire family at one shot you can then follow up with each child individually to address their fears, thoughts, and concerns.
There will be questions posed almost immediately. Some children will sit quietly and ask questions down the road. Either way, expect for questions to be fired in your direction. You need to be ready for these questions and know that you should not provide answers that include lies or half truths. If you truly don’t know the answer to their question tell them that and let them know you will try to get an answer for them.
Divorce is a difficult topic for adults. It is downright impossible when you need to tell your children. Contact our Fort Lauderdale divorce attorney if you are ready to file for divorce and need help crafting the conversation with your children. You can schedule an appointment by calling 954-533-2756.